i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
