I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
