Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
