We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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