It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
