I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
