Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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