Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
