someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So much rum. So many feels.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
