Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
