No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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