I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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