we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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