We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize