I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
