Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
