Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
