Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
not ubering you a puppy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
