shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
