Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
