I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
