Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
