haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Shame is for Republicans.
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