I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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