I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
