How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
