they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
