i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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