i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
