i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
