is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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