The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
