Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize