I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
