Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My pussy is not your playground.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
