Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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