I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize