I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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