did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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