come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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