you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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