you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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