you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
