her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
