i don't like sucking hair
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
