? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
