I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
