are you so shy because you have an std?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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