sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
