All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
