I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
