It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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