I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
