I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
