Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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