Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
