New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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