After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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