lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
