if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can't motorboat a personality
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
