we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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