How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
