Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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