Having a random hookup so left but love u
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
